This slapped me like a wet fish across the face

Failure and the fat of your dreams

This morning I was fast getting sucked down a black wormhole of doom, AKA: the perceived total failure of the book I’m writing. But then this line came to me by Dorothea Brande. And thank God it did – fast and furious over seas and mountains and skies – slapping me like a wet fish across the face, just in the nick of time. "Act as if it were impossible to fail, Jo."

Because “failure”, as Dorothea reminded me while flapping in frustration, is just another story of imagination.

And the best thing about imagination? We can repurpose our imaginings and act accordingly whenever we choose. Phew.

As I crawled back out the wormhole I realised what I like about Dorothea's power-words is: they're not particularly about magic thinking. Rich & glamourous manifestation influencers dripping off the cover of Vogue & Forbes, their manifested success mainly down to telling everyone to manifest, can get a bit tiresome. But no, Dorothea's words are anchored in mindfulness. Dorothea’s words (penned not in Vogue, but in 1936 Great Depression New York), tell us straight to act right now like we do not know failure. Right now, act like we cannot even begin to imagine failure. Because whatever we're scared to fail, we’re only attempting because of the perceived chance of success (whether that’s parallel parking, or writing a book or meeting a dream partner). Because actually, right now, it is quite literally impossible to fail. (My book might fail in six months time, if I reduce success down to book sales and publishing deals. But right now, it’s impossible. My failure is just a mental construct. And with this fact we can act).

To put this further into perspective, only what we consider actually possible can we ever paint with the imagined brush of failure. (I have no desire to start training to be a top prima ballerina or an astronaut – because, at 45 with three kids, it’s not a realistic possible option, hence I can’t even imagine failing or not failing – the imagination brush just can't get painting in my head, so failure to be an astronaut doesn't bother me).

So... why not:

Act as if it's impossible to fail at the interview as you wait to be called in.

Act as if it’s impossible to fail at losing weight while eating a doughnut.

Act as if it’s impossible to fail at getting over grief, while wading through the black treacle of loss trying to still smile.

Act as if it’s impossible to fail at parenting when your kid is screaming at you.

Act as if it's impossible to fail at your dream.

Act as if it’s impossible to fail at life.

Because failure does not exist. It cannot exist. It's impossible. Because all that exists is Now. It's only ever the belief of failure now, that leads to failure in the future. Eating the doughnut is only a failure if you believe you've failed, so you therefore eat another three doughnuts.

And isn't believing in future failure even more deflating than a glamourous manifestation coach (who never eats doughnuts) getting rich off the fat of your dreams?

Happy Tuesday.

Love, Jo x